E55 Ownership-A Treatise on Antisocial Behavior

[Vader55]

ChicagoX ...

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[jpohl402]

great write up!

[W211 BEAST]

So. As much as my girlfriend loves my car, even though she's scared of it, she doesnt understand the infatuation that I have for it. She doesnt understand why I spend hours on this site everyday. Frankly I think it's ruining our relationship, lol. So the other night I forced her to read this write up, and she kept laughing while she was reading it. So after she read it, she thinks of me as a little kid now, but she understands it more, she just cant get over the whole hunting thing, I need to go hunting with her one time and show her, lol. So, ChicagoX, I thank you, for saving me money that I would eventually spend on couples counseling.

(^And Vader, I'm happy to see that you're going back to the stock grille. And if you never had the CL style grille on your car to begin with, I feel like an idiot)

["G"]

http://chronictel.net/videos/misc/vi...onextended.wmv

Originally Posted by ChicagoX

I have always considered myself a "people person." An entrepreneur, I come into contact with individuals from all walks of life, all economic backgrounds. Being a sociable sort never hurts when doing business. I regard myself a good citizen and a responsible member of society.

It took ownership of an E55 to show me absolutely how wrong this whole notion is.

As it turns out, no car out there could be a more opposite assertion, nor has any car I’ve previously owned, including a few full-bore semi-race cars. At least those machines made no pretense of their purpose, their existence. The E55, as well as all of its Kompressor brethren, are rolling lies. Beautifully crafted slaps in the face to society as a whole.

A P-car, an F-car, a Viper, oh my. All of these sports cars tell you what to expect from the moment you glance at their purposeful forms, their immense rolling stock. The burble/shriek/wail from their tailpipes tell all to move over, a FAST CAR is coming through.

Not the E55. Its 4-doors and understated sheet metal pretend to be nice. It greets other cars while secretly clutching a large-bore handgun behind its back, “How are you today? Great. Lovely weather we’re – BOOM!” Dead car. By the time the faint whine of the supercharger is heard, it’s far too late. On to the next mark.

I can barely slide into its buttery leather without my pulse quickening, brow starting to glisten with the anticipatory sweat of some 500-odd ponies about to be rousted from slumber. The ventilated seats are helping, yet only add to the farce. Sure you’re a respectable car. Sure.

I turn the key and stir the beast. The quiet thrum of the mill contracts my pupils, flares my nostrils. My pulse quickens as the revs settle down to idle, and I am no longer the same man. I now crave raw meat and open road.

Searching -nay- hunting for a kill now. I grip the thick wheel while the tires shriek under the collective motivation of all of those foot-pounds, clutching in vain for traction on the tarmac. Finally underway, the blue haze from the protesting radials wafts out of the cabin. Along with it go the last traces of responsible adulthood.

The balance of the night is a blur. Fleeting images of an M-something shrinking in the rearview. Me throwing my head back and bellowing laughter at an RX-8 with NOS stickers. More tire smoke. A Cobra. Sleep.

I realize now I am actually an Antisocial. I pretend to be upstanding, only to take any and all opportunity given to break speed laws. Laws crafted by those who can’t understand the visceral pull of a forced-induction V-8, or its effects. Meh. Laws are for lesser machines.

How long can I keep up this dual existence? Dr Jeckyl needs to make a living, but Mr. Hyde needs to hunt. It’s only a matter of time before the wife finds out I’m not having an affair….then what? If it comes down to the wife or the car, I don’t know how what I’ll do…..I can’t get rid of the E55…….HELP !!!

[The Godfather]

I'm putting this on my myspace, with due credits. This is too good! thanks!

[55fanatic]

Damn Just saw this... good stuff

[i8acobra]

I'm new here. I was going to start a new thread with my story, but it seems fitting to post it here instead...

So, my '06 350Z is about to get it's 3rd motor and second tranny in the 26K since I bought it new and I want Nissan to take my car back. I'm calling Nissan USA on Monday to try to get the ball rolling on that. So yesterday, while driving up to my brother's house, I stopped by this one dealer just to look around. Wasn't gonna drive anything, cause I'm not at that stage yet. Well, I'm talking to this older sales guy (53) about what I'm looking for and why I'm there. He says, "Forget this new stuff, I've got the ride for you. I can tell you're the kind of guy who can appreciate this". I tell him, it's not really necessary cause anything they have on the lot now will probably be gone by the time I'm ready to buy. He says, "I'll get the keys". So, he gets the car and tells me to hop in.

He pulls out of the lot, completely sideways. He explains that he's been at this particular lot for 27 years and isn't worried about getting fired. About 5 or so miles down the road, he pulls over and swaps places with me... my turn.

I get about a block down the street and notice a Lightning riding my ass. He pulls around me really quick, then slows next to me. I say to the sales guy, "You believe this guy? He can see the dealer plate, he know's I'm on a test drive and he wants to run". Sales guy looks at me and says,"So what are you waiting for"? Oh yeah, it's on. I mash the throttle and start pulling on him pretty hard. We hit some ultra-legal speed and I let off about 6 cars out on him.

The test drive lasted about 15 more miles. I pulled back in the lot totally convinced that I must have one.

So what was I driving?

An '05 E55.

[W211 BEAST]

You never forget your first time.

[fullracehonda]

id say your wife is in trouble, unless youve written stories about her like that before!

[sound 8]

I suggest if just getting into an E55 has such a dramatic effect on you,
you should see a shrink.
the feelings you get are fealt by me, only when someone is trying it on.

[squidj]

I must say, I remember my first ride in an E55. I flew into Dulles-Washington to pick up my corvette up from my uncle's house. I left it there when i went out of Country for a year. He was driving his 06 E55 which he had warned me about. And "WOW" is all I could say at first, quickly followed by "slow this thing down before you kill me". Immediately I new I had to have one.

[michakaveli]

Just came across this thread for the first time..... This truly is a literally work of art. Once I have a larger garage, I need one.

[mugatu22]

Great post!

[gambari]

I re-read this post every now and then as a means to identify with the brethren out there. After spending ten hours a day defending this country against attack, I often turn down the usual thanks and appreciation and settle for teaching some "fast car driving" knuckle head manners and respect for authority on the path home. Very well written article, ChicagoX.

[deerpark]

Mercedes owes you!

[GRAFH]

Originally Posted by "G"

http://chronictel.net/videos/misc/vi...onextended.wmv

Lol wait until the end, poor amg.

[FlatlineEF9]

woah...was that a stock motor boosted in the IS? or a 2JZ?

[Akademiks]

Originally Posted by sound 8

the feelings you get are fealt by me, only when someone is trying it on.

[GRAFH]

lol feeeeealt !

[RFFG]

Awesome read.

[mikey boy1]

yawn yawn stopped reading at p-car...

[mugatu22]

Originally Posted by mikey boy1

yawn yawn stopped reading at p-car...

Your loss, jackass.

[bflan]

recently ive been hearing some knocking noise or chatter from the front left of the car. i took it to benz dealer 5 times each time they give it back and say that is the shocks on this car that tend to be loud and knocking at times. i was guessign that they jsut couldnt figure out what it was . Has anyone else experienced this knocking at all .

thanks very much

[topdeez]

I had a chance to drive a 97 911 Turbo the other day and I was in awe, my mind was made up that it was my dream car. I drove it on the parkway like I was on at a track, but minus the traffic of course. I set a goal to get one.

Chicago, after reading your story, I forgot about the Porsche. I've never driven a 55 before, but I now have a need to bring out the Mr. Hyde in me.

All hail AMG.......


Rock

[A' La F1]

So true. Drove a 2006 E55 and 2006 M5 back-to-back at the same dealership this weekend. I felt like speed craved Fortune 500 CEO in the E55. Spooling the M5 to 7k to get it to move? Quite frankly I felt like, well, an idiot. I'm hooked. Hopefully buying the E55 this week...