E55 Ownership-A Treatise on Antisocial Behavior

ChicagoX · 10-30-2006, 03:19 PM

I have always considered myself a "people person." An entrepreneur, I come into contact with individuals from all walks of life, all economic backgrounds. Being a sociable sort never hurts when doing business. I regard myself a good citizen and a responsible member of society.

It took ownership of an E55 to show me absolutely how wrong this whole notion is.

As it turns out, no car out there could be a more opposite assertion, nor has any car I’ve previously owned, including a few full-bore semi-race cars. At least those machines made no pretense of their purpose, their existence. The E55, as well as all of its Kompressor brethren, are rolling lies. Beautifully crafted slaps in the face to society as a whole.

A P-car, an F-car, a Viper, oh my. All of these sports cars tell you what to expect from the moment you glance at their purposeful forms, their immense rolling stock. The burble/shriek/wail from their tailpipes tell all to move over, a FAST CAR is coming through.

Not the E55. Its 4-doors and understated sheet metal pretend to be nice. It greets other cars while secretly clutching a large-bore handgun behind its back, “How are you today? Great. Lovely weather we’re – BOOM!” Dead car. By the time the faint whine of the supercharger is heard, it’s far too late. On to the next mark.

I can barely slide into its buttery leather without my pulse quickening, brow starting to glisten with the anticipatory sweat of some 500-odd ponies about to be rousted from slumber. The ventilated seats are helping, yet only add to the farce. Sure you’re a respectable car. Sure.

I turn the key and stir the beast. The quiet thrum of the mill contracts my pupils, flares my nostrils. My pulse quickens as the revs settle down to idle, and I am no longer the same man. I now crave raw meat and open road.

Searching -nay- hunting for a kill now. I grip the thick wheel while the tires shriek under the collective motivation of all of those foot-pounds, clutching in vain for traction on the tarmac. Finally underway, the blue haze from the protesting radials wafts out of the cabin. Along with it go the last traces of responsible adulthood.

The balance of the night is a blur. Fleeting images of an M-something shrinking in the rearview. Me throwing my head back and bellowing laughter at an RX-8 with NOS stickers. More tire smoke. A Cobra. Sleep.

I realize now I am actually an Antisocial. I pretend to be upstanding, only to take any and all opportunity given to break speed laws. Laws crafted by those who can’t understand the visceral pull of a forced-induction V-8, or its effects. Meh. Laws are for lesser machines.

How long can I keep up this dual existence? Dr Jeckyl needs to make a living, but Mr. Hyde needs to hunt. It’s only a matter of time before the wife finds out I’m not having an affair….then what? If it comes down to the wife or the car, I don’t know how what I’ll do…..I can’t get rid of the E55…….HELP !!!

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vraa · 10-30-2006, 03:22 PM

This is a great story, I would be very appreciative if you could continue this.

As for the specific thread, I'm going to sticky this -- it's just too good to pass up. A must read for all car enthusiasts particularly beast owners.

vader · 10-30-2006, 03:28 PM

Someone figured out how to put that into words !!! Been really lousy weather in Chicago...but its 65 today and sunny... damn I couldn't wait to get this car out of the garage and on the tollway. What a rush....the faces on those that are unaware is priceless. Great story Chicago !!!

ENDSMTG · 10-30-2006, 03:44 PM

There is great hunting today in the chicagoland area! Every sports car owner I know is trying to get his/her last thrills in for the year. I personally had just waxed up the "Beast" yesterday, and I am currently out looking for victims. As of this morning at 9am, only 1 trans am has taken a thrashing. There is a Buick Grand National that I have been trying to run across. Everytime I see him, I'm in the Range Rover.

Hope I see him today, if so there's going to be trouble in the South Suburbs tonight!

dragonAMG · 10-30-2006, 04:37 PM

awesome!!!

ChicagoX · 10-30-2006, 04:38 PM

Happy hunting, gentlemen.

I'm glad you liked the writeup.

2K6E55 · 10-30-2006, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChicagoX

Happy hunting, gentlemen.

I'm glad you liked the writeup.

Chicago,

AWESOME story! Please feel free to continue your writing... Good stuff.

It's hard to find anyone who wants to play with the E55 but happy hunting!

Efivefive · 10-30-2006, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChicagoX

Happy hunting, gentlemen.

I'm glad you liked the writeup.

I really enjoyed that!!!....please feel free to continue!!

....I think I will frame your writeup and put it on the the Beasts bedroom wall!!!

......accredited to Chicago X ofcourse!

NVR_L8 · 10-30-2006, 08:27 PM

Amazing, simply amazing story and writing skills!! Are you a sort of writer? that was a fun read!

mogz · 10-31-2006, 02:48 AM

I'm amazed...

OzE55 · 10-31-2006, 02:52 AM

Very impressive creative writing.

Thank-you, you've embodied what it is to own the beast.

newton22 · 10-31-2006, 05:19 PM

Very nice write up Chicago. You have a way with words.

CLKFREAK · 10-31-2006, 11:14 PM

I just had to do something with your write up...The color of the image was tough to offset with the text color. If anyone wants the actual file shoot me a pm.

chiromikey · 11-01-2006, 12:54 AM

lol...wonderful!

Chappy · 11-01-2006, 12:02 PM

Outstanding writeup!

ChicagoX · 11-01-2006, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CLKFREAK

I just had to do something with your write up...The color of the image was tough to offset with the text color. If anyone wants the actual file shoot me a pm.

Wow! That looks sweet.

CLKFREAK · 11-01-2006, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChicagoX

Wow! That looks sweet.

Thanks. The actual file is bigger and much clearer. I've had a few people ask for it. Now I just need to get a 55 and I can hang it on my wall.

DFW01E55 · 11-01-2006, 01:59 PM

A deep bow to a skilled writer.

Supdon · 11-01-2006, 02:00 PM

Chicago,

GREAT STORY, I am in wash, d.c. and I can not find any real takers. Every now and again I get a rice cooker/lawn mower whatever you want to call them and I just look the other way. I did get and M5 one day but there was too much traffic for any real fun.

L8Apex · 11-01-2006, 06:46 PM

Great story! A must read.

Well done!

Gunite · 11-01-2006, 10:53 PM

Thanks a lot, I just lost all desire to sell my car and make a wise investment.

This engine is truley one for the history books.

Nice read.

Finny · 11-02-2006, 08:55 AM

Can't wait for Antisocial II ...!

Brilliant pice of work!

MrBenz55 · 11-16-2006, 08:27 PM

Very entertaining.... thankyou for that story

and also good to see u enjoy the E55 so much !

Nickerz · 11-16-2006, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChicagoX

...Its 4-doors and understated sheet metal pretend to be nice. It greets other cars while secretly clutching a large-bore handgun behind its back, “How are you today? Great. Lovely weather we’re – BOOM!” Dead car. By the time the faint whine of the supercharger is heard, it’s far too late. On to the next mark.

Quite possibly the quote of the year! Damn that sounds good!

Nick

Noredline · 11-20-2006, 04:53 PM

That was a great read, one of my favorite parts; "Meh, Laws are for lesser machines" Just rich!!!!

Thanks

10-30-2006, 03:22 PM	#2
vraa Hurricane Smasher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 28,785 Drives: M6 Coupe	This is a great story, I would be very appreciative if you could continue this. As for the specific thread, I'm going to sticky this -- it's just too good to pass up. A must read for all car enthusiasts particularly beast owners. __________________ 08 IS-F \| 04 360 Modena \| 07 LX470 \| 08 LS600 \| 07 M6

10-30-2006, 03:28 PM	#3
vader MBWorld Fanatic! Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Chicago Posts: 1,046 Drives: 04 E55	Someone figured out how to put that into words !!! Been really lousy weather in Chicago...but its 65 today and sunny... damn I couldn't wait to get this car out of the garage and on the tollway. What a rush....the faces on those that are unaware is priceless. Great story Chicago !!! __________________ "Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bull and brilliance only come with age and experience!"

10-30-2006, 03:44 PM	#4
ENDSMTG Super Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 564 Drives: '05 E55(The Beast), '04 Range Rover(The House), '06 Lexus GS 300(Wifey's), '02 Sea Ray 360 Sundancer	There is great hunting today in the chicagoland area! Every sports car owner I know is trying to get his/her last thrills in for the year. I personally had just waxed up the "Beast" yesterday, and I am currently out looking for victims. As of this morning at 9am, only 1 trans am has taken a thrashing. There is a Buick Grand National that I have been trying to run across. Everytime I see him, I'm in the Range Rover. Hope I see him today, if so there's going to be trouble in the South Suburbs tonight! __________________ * EvoSport Stage I & II, Evosport Cooling Package, Evosport Headers, VRus 80mmTB, VRus CF Intake, HRE 542R's, H&R Lowering Module, Clear Side Markers, Invisible Bra, Valentine1, Blinder Laser Diffuser, Rear Spoiler, RennTech Camber Kit, Beast Eyes in Grill. Confirmed Z06 Killer! 11/10/07 @ 119.35mph & 11.56 ET! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYenWHy9jHA-Z06 Heart Attack!* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtUH-yekhNM-Cobra!

10-31-2006, 02:48 AM	#10
mogz Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: SF Posts: 271 Drives: AMG	I'm amazed... __________________

10-31-2006, 05:19 PM	#12
newton22 MBWorld Fanatic! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sugar Land, TX Posts: 4,575 Drives: BMW E39	Very nice write up Chicago. You have a way with words. __________________ SOLD

10-30-2006, 04:38 PM	#6
ChicagoX SPONSOR Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In a box Posts: 2,516 Drives: W211 E55	Happy hunting, gentlemen. I'm glad you liked the writeup.

10-30-2006, 08:27 PM	#9
NVR_L8 Super Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 526 Drives: Corvette	Amazing, simply amazing story and writing skills!! Are you a sort of writer? that was a fun read!

10-31-2006, 02:52 AM	#11
OzE55 MBWorld Fanatic! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 1,116 Drives: 2003 E55	Very impressive creative writing. Thank-you, you've embodied what it is to own the beast.

11-01-2006, 12:54 AM	#14
chiromikey MBWorld Fanatic! Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,653 Drives: '03 E55, Ducati 748R	lol...wonderful!

11-01-2006, 12:02 PM	#15
Chappy MBWorld Fanatic! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Hotlanta Posts: 7,887 Drives: AMG	Outstanding writeup! __________________ W208 CLK55 - 2002 (Silver w/Charcoal - 43K miles) 1 of 3,381 W208 AMG Coupes Worldwide 304WHP / 321TQ - Stock! W124 Estate - 1995 MBWGCM #71 Kombi's Uber Alles Member #3

11-01-2006, 01:59 PM	#18
DFW01E55 MBWorld Fanatic! Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 2,110 Drives: CLK Black Series	A deep bow to a skilled writer.

11-01-2006, 02:00 PM	#19
Supdon Newbie Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 1	Chicago, GREAT STORY, I am in wash, d.c. and I can not find any real takers. Every now and again I get a rice cooker/lawn mower whatever you want to call them and I just look the other way. I did get and M5 one day but there was too much traffic for any real fun.

11-01-2006, 06:46 PM	#20
L8Apex Super Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: So. Cal Posts: 686 Drives: 05E55	Great story! A must read. Well done! __________________ 08 Black M6 10 GL450 08 Black 335 (gone) 07 GL450 (gone) 05 Black Opal E55 (lemon) 02 Black ML55 (gone) 95 M3 Turbo (gone) 94 3.6 Turbo (gone.) 93 C2 POC Track Car 80 VW Cabrio Callaway Turbo III REMEMBERING PIPES

11-01-2006, 10:53 PM	#21
Gunite Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Long Island Posts: 89 Drives: 2005 E 55 Amg	Thanks a lot, I just lost all desire to sell my car and make a wise investment. This engine is truley one for the history books. Nice read. __________________ 05 E-55 AMG OBSIDIAN BLACK

11-02-2006, 08:55 AM	#22
Finny Super Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 520 Drives: 03 E55 AMG	Can't wait for Antisocial II ...! Brilliant pice of work! __________________ Finny 03 E55 AMG Australia

11-16-2006, 08:27 PM	#23
MrBenz55 Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 94 Drives: 05' E55 (I wish)	That was good Very entertaining.... thankyou for that story and also good to see u enjoy the E55 so much !

11-20-2006, 04:53 PM	#25
Noredline Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arizona Posts: 346 Drives: 2005 CL65, 2005 E55, 2005 Viper SRT/10	Great Post That was a great read, one of my favorite parts; "Meh, Laws are for lesser machines" Just rich!!!! Thanks __________________ My whips; http://www.pbuzz.com/showalbum.php?sf=1&uuid=2213&aid=2355

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